Of invisible switches and hidden correlations ...

Every married woman knows about the switch that trips when she opens her mouth to talk to her spouse.  The subject's ears cease to function at once; they are back to normal the moment the wife stops talking!  Not once in eight years have I ever known my husband to really listen -- nondescript, vague grunts and fillers are his way of acknowledging the annoying sound waves that bounce off his ears.  On the other hand, the converse does not apply.  At least, my spouse expects me to hang upon his every word and sulks if he thinks he does not enjoy my full attention.  Trying to feed your child simultaneously is not a good enough excuse to turn away when He talks ...

 

 

The other switch -- you know, the one that shuts off your ears when the TV is switched on -- is known to exist from quite an early age.  I can personally testify to this.  To get my five-year-old's attention, I have to switch off the TV when I really need to get across to her; obviously this is accompanied by her shrill, vocal protest!  This is also strongly manifested in the male species, particularly when watching a cricket match (even a replay of a Test match that took place years ago).  By the way, every other person in the house will be required to breathe softly in such an event so as not to disturb Him while he is watching TV -- whether it is an ancient cricket match or "breaking news" while scanning several TV channels simultaneously.  Even the darling-daughter-who-can-do-no-wrong needs to conform -- "You can talk to me only during the ads" -- initially said in a soft, even gentle, voice it gets progressively louder till there is absolute silence.  Naturally, there is this obvious correlation between waxing and waning of dinner-table conversation in perfect synchronisation with commercial breaks on TV.   Requests for water or second helpings notwithstanding, everyone needs to toe the line.  The older generation enforce this more rigidly as their daily routine revolves around their favourite TV shows. 

 

 

Well, last but not the least -- as soon as the maid talks about not showing up for work for the next few days, my blood pressure shoots up.  I become in turn cranky, annoyed and depressed.  All these symptoms vanish the instant she returns -- the sun seems brighter, the grass greener, the sky bluer and all is right with my world once again !