A rose by any another name ...

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)


Let me come directly to the point. I disagree !

Yes, one usually has no say in the choice of one's name -- you just hope that your parents do not have any outlandish ideas ... And, for the record, I did know someone who was named after a greek letter ! She was a good sport and took it in her stride; and would even use the greek symbol as her signature. But that is the exception. Most of us end up more or less content with our names. We may or may not acquire nicknames, of course. Once again, that depends on what cards Fortune deals you. It is awkward for a solemn professional when his/her colleagues somehow discover that he/she used to be called Ammu, Ambi, Sundeli and so on.

Those that get married sometimes acquire a whole new name. This was more common in my grandparents' generation. So you will have to learn to respond to a name that has no relation whatsoever with your original one. I presume it could have been confusing to react to one name in your own family and to another in your husband's place. Still, it used to be the norm and well, you had to live with it.

That generation -- my Thaatha-Paati's, I mean -- was quaint (from my point of view). While being demonstrative was unheard of and would certainly have been frowned upon, men showed off their affection for their wives by bestowing them with wierd nicknames. One of my Thaathas was enchanted by Mathematics -- Algebra, in particular -- (even though he was defeated by the English paper in his 10th std exams) that he adoringly called his wife "X". I don't blame you for sporting a wide grin right now as you read this. Speaking for myself, I didn't believe my ears when I heard it for the first time, either. But there was Paati -- responding to it -- time after time after time. My other Thaatha was so taken up with the sound of his wife's name that every sentence would be punctuated with it -- that tall, stern, eagle-like visage hid a hopelessly romantic soul !

I know someone who loves her name and could not have wished for any other. She was also lucky enough not to acquire any nicknames -- funny or otherwise. Nor did she acquire any new name when she got married. I would have thought nothing could be better. But it was not to be. Her husband would talk to her all the time without once calling her by name. This rather reminded one of the good old days when women wouldn't name their husbands since they stood in awe of them. That certainly wasn't the case here. Well, she was exasperated. She liked the sound of her name and did not relish the fact that she hardly heard it -- and from the look of it -- would probably never do so. Things did change somewhat when she had a daughter. She was okay with and even encouraged her to call her by name. This was looked upon by her spouse as some crazy fad to appear modern but she didn't mind any labels. She was happy to hear her name again -- albeit from the mouth of a toddler !

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