Uncle Podger catches a flight ...

The name Uncle Podger makes me smile :)). I immediately visualize the man trying to hang up a picture in his living room with his wife and several children in attendance. I can see him impatiently waving about and demanding a dozen things simultaneously, keeping every person present totally busy. (If you didn't already realize, this is from "Three Men in a Boat" by Jerome K. Jerome). The next scene that comes to mind is Uncle Podger sprinting to catch the morning train to reach his workplace (see "Three Men on the Bummel" by the same author). I thought it would be fun to imagine how Uncle Podger might catch a flight in the 21st century.


"Never wait until the last minute" he would sermonize to all and sundry, but for himself nothing would get done if there were no deadlines ... Uncle Podger would never pack even the day before his travel -- it was simply more fun to do it just an hour or two before leaving home for the airport. On the day of his departure, he would leisurely savour his coffee over a bunch of newspapers as was his wont everyday. Immediately after this, the mad rush would begin. You could see the tension sparking in the air. "Can you boot up the computer and log into the airlines site so I can print out my online ticket ?" he would say. "Hurry up. There are so many things to do ..." The printer would decide to strike work that day or the cartridge would run out of ink. Finally, one of the children would be deputed to run to the nearest cybercafe to get a printout.

In the meantime, Uncle Podger would assign other duties to his spouse and progeny -- "Can you call a taxi to the airport ?" Aunt Maria's "I thought I told you to book it last night" would be totally drowned out in the loud instructions that Uncle Podger would shout out to the child booking the taxi -- "tell him I need to catch a flight at 2 pm" "Did you tell him the right address?" and so on and so forth.

Uncle Podger would be bustling about everywhere without actually focussing on a single item to be done. "Maria, did you get my shirts ironed ? No, not those -- I need the other ones that aren't here. What about my medicines ? Can you order those -- right away -- and ask the guy to show up in the next 15 minutes or so ? Do you happen to have a lock ?" On being given one, he would come up with "No, that is too small, or that seems too large -- didn't you have a number lock?"

When finally, his bags were packed and the taxi driver called to say that he had arrived,
he would start to have his lunch and then unhurriedly comment about the lack of seasoning or if the vegetables were overcooked or undercooked. The whole family would heave a collective sigh of relief when he finally got into the taxi to take him to the airport. They knew they had to enjoy what little peace they would know -- until he got back !


Image from cartoon-photocollection.blogspot.in